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Chapter Four

  Sky Dancer’s head swayed back and forth with the restless motion of the coach. She had the feeling they would never reach their destination, but would ride on forever into oblivion.

  They had spent a week at Meadowlake Farm, her aunt and uncle’s country home, which was located in Valley Forge. Sky Dancer hadn’t been unhappy at the farm. There had been just the three of them staying at Meadowlake. Alexandria had told Sky Dancer her uncle had sent the servants away so she could be eased into the white world. Sky Dancer had discovered many wondrous things at the farm. Most of all she enjoyed the library with books reaching clear to the ceiling. She spent a great deal of her time riding the blooded horses that her uncle kept there. She was almost sorry when her uncle announced that they would be leaving for Philadelphia.

  Early this morning, they had climbed into the coach, heading for Philadelphia. The young girl wished they could have remained in the country. From what she had been told, Philadelphia would be entirely different from Meadowlake Farm.

  She had lost count of the days that she had been traveling with her aunt and uncle. The mode of transportation had varied to suit the situation. When they left St. Louis they had gone by boat. On some of the smaller nameless rivers they had been transported by barge. Now, lastly, but far less comfortably, they were traveling by coach. It had rained every day since they had been in the coach, and as a result they had made slow progress. Several times the heavy coach would become bogged down in the mud and mire, forcing them to get out and stand in the rain while the wheels were freed.

  Her Uncle Tag had assured her that barring any more trouble, they would reach Philadelphia before nightfall. Sky Dancer gazed out the window and watched the scenery. She felt no kinship with this strange land. Each mile that passed took her farther and farther from her homeland. She was a long way from all that was dear and familiar to her.

  Sky Dancer felt totally miserable. It wasn’t that her aunt and uncle hadn’t been kind to her. In fact, they had gone out of their way to try and make her as comfortable as possible. It was more that she felt like she had been abandoned by her own mother and father.

  Gazing at the dense treeline outside the coach window, she watched the steady rain drench the countryside. If only the sun would come out, she thought miserably. How she would like to be standing on the Sweet Grass Hills right this moment, with the warm sun beating down on her face. How wonderful it would be to abandon the tight uncomfortable clothing, with all the laces and wires, for the soft buckskin gown she was accustomed to wearing.

  Suddenly the coach hit a huge rock in the road, and Sky Dancer was almost unseated, saved only by the steadying hand that her Uncle Tag placed on her shoulder.

  She smiled at her uncle who moved over to sit beside her. Aunt Alexandria was sleeping soundly and hadn’t been awakened by the mishap.

  “In about another hour we shall reach the outskirts of Philadelphia. After that, depending on the traffic, we should be home within no time at all,” her uncle assured her.

  “My mother told me that your home is very big and grand. I fear I shall lose my way with so many rooms to wander through.”

  “Sky Dancer, the one thing that you must remember is that this is your home, the same as it’s Danielle’s. I don’t know if your mother has informed you of the fact that you are an heiress of some means.”

  “She told me that the James family is very wealthy,” Sky Dancer admitted, little impressed with white man’s wealth. To her way of thinking, money could never be compared with one’s peace of mind.

  “Yes, we are, honey. Do you know what that means where you are concerned?”

  Sky Dancer shook her head. “Soon I will be returning to my own home. I do not think money will affect my life one way or another.”

  Tag’s laughter rang out. “How like your mother you are. I can’t tell you what a joy it will be for me to get to know you better. I wish Danielle was more like you,” Tag added ruefully. “I’m afraid her stubbornness will get her into trouble one day.”

  Sky Dancer smiled, and in that moment Tag saw a fleeting shadow of his sister’s loveliness. Taking the young girl’s hand, he placed it against his cheek. “I have loved you since you were a baby. If, while you are staying with us, you are troubled about anything, I hope you will come to me. Will you promise me that?”

  Sky Dancer nodded her head. Uncle Tag was the only familiar thing in her life at the moment. Since he had visited the village almost every summer, she had come to know and love him. “I promise,” she said softly.

  Tag looked into his young niece’s eyes, dreading what he must say to her now. He knew about her proud spirit, and he feared she wouldn’t understand his reasoning. “Sky Dancer, from this moment on, you will go only by the name Skyler Dancing. Did your mother explain the reason for this?”

  “Yes, but I can’t say that I like it. I don’t feel ashamed of who I am. I don’t like the notion of having to change my name.”

  Tag slid his arm about her shoulder. “I pray the day will come when no one will judge another for no reason other than the kind of person he or she is. That day has not yet come, Skyler,” he said, deliberately using her new name. “You must believe me when I tell you, no one must ever know your true identity.”

  “Are you ashamed of me, Uncle Tag?”

  He could read the sadness in her eyes, and shook his head. “The reverse is true, my dear sweet niece. I am proud of you. I know of no other young lady who has your qualifications. Let me tell you a little about myself and perhaps you will better understand my feelings. You know about my being raised in the Blackfoot village?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “What you may not know is that I admire your father more than any man, living or dead. He took a young, lost white boy and taught him the important things in life. I give him full credit for the man I am today.”

  “You are a fine man.”

  Tag gave her a crooked smile. “That’s debatable, but I do think I know what’s important in life. Like you, I know it isn’t money or possessions that are important. However, I feel I didn’t pass that knowledge on to my daughter.”

  “Perhaps my father can teach her as he did you and me,” Sky Dancer said earnestly.

  Tag looked out the window and vaguely noticed that the rain had stopped. “Perhaps he will, Skyler. I certainly hope that he will.”

  When the coach made its way up the tree-lined avenue, Sky Dancer could see the big house that seemed to rise out of the mist, and she pushed down the fear that threatened to cut off her breathing.

  Alexandria patted her hand and gave her a bright smile. “It will be all right, my dear. You’ll see.”

  As the coach came to a stop, Sky Dancer watched a procession of servants line up on the steps to welcome the travelers home. Tag touched Sky Dancer’s shoulder to draw her attention. “Remember that once you step outside this coach you will be known only as Skyler Dancing, my niece. Sky Dancer no longer exists as long as you reside in Philadelphia.” His voice was kind but firm at the same time. She nodded her head in acceptance, feeling as if she had just lost her identity.

  Alexandria accompanied Skyler up the stairs and led her down a long, wide hallway. “You will be staying in the room which your mother occupied as a girl. Little has been changed in this room, except we had it newly painted and new coverings made for the bed and windows.”

  When Alexandria paused before a door and opened it wide, Skyler stepped inside hesitantly. She blinked her eyes at the lovely sight that confronted her. The walls were white, and the bed covering and curtains were lemon yellow, giving the room a bright, airy appearance. There was a vanity table with a stiff yellow skirt and a lounge and chair covered in yellow and white stripes.

  “This is lovely,” Skyler exclaimed. “Was this truly my mother’s room?” she asked, turning around in a wide circle.

  “Yes, indeed it was. Your uncle didn’t want to change it very much. You will find that many of Joanna’s possessions still rem
ain.”

  Skyler walked over to the vanity and ran her hand over the surface of an ivory-handled mirror. Suddenly she could feel her mother’s presence, and she felt less lonely.

  Turning to Alexandria, she smiled. “I will love staying in this room, even though it is difficult for me to envision my mother as a young girl living in this house.”

  Alexandria reached out and slid a comforting arm about Joanna’s daughter. “You are so welcome here, my dear. I want you and I to become better acquainted. It’s not hard to know what you are feeling at the moment. Once you have become accustomed to this house, you will begin to enjoy yourself. Your uncle and I have a glorious summer planned for you.”

  Skyler suddenly felt an uneasiness at what lay ahead for her. “Will I be meeting many people?”

  “Yes, but not right away. First you will be allowed to settle in.”

  “I want my mother to be proud of me, Aunt Alexandria. I will try very hard to fit in.”

  Alexandria laughed. “I have a strong feeling you will be at home in no time.” She crossed the room and opened the door. “You have had a long and arduous journey. Why don’t you rest for a while before you come downstairs. Should you require anything, you have only to ask one of the servants.”

  With a feeling not unlike panic, Skyler watched her aunt’s departure. She wanted desperately to return home. The summer months seemed to loom ahead of her like a painful ordeal to be endured.

  She would endure whatever she must, because by the autumn she would be on her way back home to the Blackfoot village.

  As she stood before the wide window that gave her a view of the garden below, she tried to imagine her mother as a girl, standing just where she was.

  How strange it was to have stepped back into her mother’s past. The last time Joanna James had been in this room, she had been only a girl of seventeen.

  Sky Dancer was in a deep sleep. She felt a coldness move over her and tried to awaken. She realized she was going to dream about the strange white man again. She felt her senses become alert and a swirling cloud engulfed her body. Once more she was in a shadow world but she wasn’t frightened. She felt that something wonderful was about to happen—wonderful but sad.

  The dense clouds lifted and she found herself in her aunt’s garden. In the distance she saw a summerhouse amid a flower garden—the smell of them was sweet to her nostrils.

  Sky Dancer tried to throw off the sense of sadness. Something was about to happen that made her heart heavy. She didn’t know what it was…

  “Do you wish upon a star?” a deep masculine voice asked.

  Spinning around she saw the same man she had dreamed about at the hotel in St. Louis. It seemed the most natural thing in the world that he had come to her again. “No, I was thinking about you,” she freely admitted. He gazed up at the night sky while she watched him, trying to fill her heart and mind with his nearness.

  “This is the last time I will ever see you. I am going home tomorrow. This is good-bye for us,” she heard herself say…

  Sky Dancer tossed and turned on her bed. Why was she sending this man away when deep inside she wanted him to stay?

  His hands gripped her shoulders and he pulled her back against him. “No, this isn’t good-bye. Don’t you know you are tearing my heart out? Don’t you give a damn that I love you?”

  Her eyes were tear-bright. “I would rather tear out my own heart than to cause you pain. I do love you, but you will have to understand I must go away.”

  “I can’t believe that you are going away—leaving me with nothing to hold on to.” He raised her face and rested his against it. “I want you for my wife.”

  Sky Dancer shook her head. “That can never be.” She tried to close her eyes against the tears, but was unsuccessful. “I can never be your wife, but I will give you what should only be for my husband on my wedding night.”

  He searched her face. “Are you saying what I think you are?”

  “Yes. I will be with you tonight. This is all I can ever give you.”

  Anger moved over his face. “You are leaving me, so you think to pacify me with a few crumbs. I don’t want what you offer…now or ever.”

  She knew it was his hurt that was talking. “You do want me. Your words may deny it, but your eyes never could. It will cost you nothing to take what I give you tonight.”

  “How many other men have you offered yourself to? Am I the next in a long line of men to whom you have offered crumbs?”

  She reached up and unfastened the neck of the robe she was wearing. “I have never given myself to another. I want to give myself to you so you will know how deeply I feel about you. I don’t want you to remember me with anything but kindness and love.”

  “No! I will not take what you are so willing to give. If I can’t have all of you, then I don’t want anything at all. I can find plenty of women who are willing to give me what you offer so freely.”

  Even as he denied his need for her, his eyes were drawn to her. He watched as she let her robe drop onto the floor of the summerhouse. He took a step toward her, but stopped when she raised her arms to him.

  The bright moonlight seemed to turn her body a golden color. The man could no longer resist the lovely vision that stood before him with her arms outstretched.

  Suddenly she was in his arms, and his hands were running up and down her back. He sought and found her lips as his hunger for her deepened into a maddening whirlwind.

  Sky Dancer felt his hands sliding blissfully up and down her back and across her hips. She would give him all she had to give, for she couldn’t bear to go away and leave him with nothing. There was no doubt in her mind that he loved her, and she doubted she would ever love another man as deeply as she loved this white man…

  Sky Dancer felt herself waking up and tried to hold on to her dream world. Moaning in her sleep, she reached out her hand and touched her dream lover.

  Sky Dancer’s hair was streaming across her golden-colored breasts like a black velvet curtain. Her lover was in a half-dazed state, wanting her with every fiber of his being. His body trembled and he felt a need to touch her, to hold her against him forever.

  “Damn you,” he growled. “You know I want you, but not this way. Why are you doing this to me…to us?”

  She could feel the strength of his arms as he pushed her aside. She could sense there was pain as well as anger in him. He took the cushions from the window seat and angrily tossed them to the floor of the summerhouse.

  “If you want me to lay you down, I’ll do it. I hope you know what you are letting yourself in for. But I don’t think you do,” he said in an angry voice.

  Her body trembled visibly as she watched him strip his shirt off and toss it aside. This wasn’t what she wanted, she thought in a panic. She had wanted to give herself to him with love, not with anger.

  When he had cast the last of his clothing aside, he walked toward her slowly. His eyes were burning into her, and she could see that his jaw was set in anger. Her eyes went to the magnificence of his body. She started shaking all over as he drew nearer. Her eyes fastened on the golden mat of hair on his chest that ran further down his body than her eyes were willing to go.

  He reached out for her and slammed her against his naked body. His form was lean and hard and the feel of his hardness pressing against her caused her to gasp.

  “Damn you for making me love you, and damn you for making me want you,” he growled in her ear.

  “Please, I don’t want it this way,” she pleaded…

  Sky Dancer reminded herself that this was just a dream and tried to wake up. She couldn’t bear the contempt she saw in those silver eyes.

  “How do you want it?” he demanded to know. “I wish to hell I knew.”

  “I…wanted to give you this night to remember,” she whispered through trembling lips.

  He forced her head up so she would have to meet his gaze. “I don’t need this to keep you in my mind and heart. Wherever I go and whatever I do, the
thought of you will always be with me. How many ways do you want me to say I love you? How many times must I prove that I want you for my wife?”

  Tears blinded her, and she quickly brushed them away with the back of her hand. “I love you more than my own life. Am I not proving that to you tonight?”

  His head dipped, and she met his kiss eagerly. His hot body was pressed against her soft curves, and she felt a new awakening from deep within. His tongue parted her lips savagely and his mouth plundered hers. She was vaguely aware that he was lowering her back against the cushions.

  “This isn’t what I envisioned for you and me. I had thought to take you on our wedding bed,” he whispered hotly in her ear.

  “Tonight I will be as your wife,” she answered. “Take what I would have given you as my husband.”

  His lips moved down her throat and across her silken breasts. Sky Dancer gasped for breath as his tongue circled the rosy peaks. A white-hot sensation rushed through her veins, and she felt as if an earthquake shook her body. She experienced the after-shock all the way to her toes.

  “Sweet, sweet,” he murmured, and his hot breath sent shivers down her spine.

  Sky Dancer could sense a reluctance in him, so she drew his face up to her lips. “Take the gift I offer. It is all I have to give you,” she whispered.

  He moaned as her lips sought his. He could no longer reason past the wild desire that kept pounding in his brain. Kissing her all the while, he spread her legs and positioned himself between them. One hand pulled her head closer to receive his burning kiss, while the other wandered slowly and sensuously down to the valley of her womanhood. His hand shook as it moved carefully into the velvety softness of her.

  Sky Dancer groaned as her body reacted to his soft touch. She felt something akin to pain, yet beyond pain as his hand gently massaged her inner core.

  She felt him move forward. When he slowly entered her body, she clamped her lips together tightly to keep from crying out at the beautiful feelings that encased her whole being.