Highland Love Song (DeWinter's Song 2) Page 27

  Arrian's health improved, and she was able to come downstairs. Michael watched her move from a chair to the window and back.

  "You are restless. I believe that's a sign that you are fully recovered."

  "I have something I've been wanting to say to you and I only now gathered the courage."

  "You want to return to Ravenworth."

  "Yes, as soon as I can travel."

  Michael caught her hand and forced her to look at him. "Are you certain this is what you want? You know if you go through with this you may never see Warrick again. Can you live with that?"

  "I want to go home and forget any of this ever happened." Her eyes were bright with tears. "Please, Michael, take me home!"

  "If that's what you really want, I'll make all the arrangements. But make sure before we leave that you'll have no regrets, Arrian."

  "Thank you for understanding, Michael, and for not asking too many questions."

  "When you're hurt, the whole family is wounded, Arrian. But I have to tell you, I like Warrick. I have never known a man could suffer so from the loss of a baby. I wish you could be a little kinder to him."

  "I will not be unkind," she said, picking up her cashmere shawl and placing it about her shoulders. "I just don't know what to say to him. Besides, it seems Louise Robertson is here almost every day. I suspect she's been a great comfort to him."

  "Perhaps the least said about her, the best," was Michael's enigmatic reply.

  30

  Michael and Arrian were seated in the library with a large tapestry-covered tome opened across their laps.

  "This book contains drawings of Ironworth, Michael, and it would seem the book was done by a family member." She traced the name that had been signed in a feminine hand. '"Lady Brendolyn Glencarin, 1566.' It says here that she's the one who brought the Glencarin title to the Drummond family. If I were redoing Ironworth, I'd use her drawings for my guide. Look how she had detailed the furnishing and colors of each room."

  "Why don't you show this to Warrick and make that suggestion to him, Arrian?"

  "I don't think so."

  At that moment Mrs. Haddington came bustling in with their tea and placed it on the table before them.

  "Look, Mrs. Haddington," Arrian said, turning the book so the housekeeper could see. "These are drawings of Ironworth."

  The housekeeper merely glanced at the book and grunted, turning her attention to Michael. "Would you be wanting brandy, m'lord?"

  "No, I'll have tea with my sister. I hope you have some of those delicious raspberry tarts, Haddy," he said, using the familiar name he'd heard Warrick use with the housekeeper.

  "I do, m'lord, and lemon, too." Haddy smiled, pleased with Lord Michael's friendliness. Arrian thought no one could resist Michael's genuine charm.

  "You spoil me," he said, reaching for one of the confections and biting into it. "Mmm, this is what I'll miss most when I leave Scotland, Haddy."

  That reminded Arrian that she wanted to talk to Warrick about leaving. She had been dreading this moment. "Is his lordship in this evening, Mrs. Haddington?" She hated to ask a servant where her husband was, but it could be no secret to anyone that she and Warrick had not seen each other since she'd lost the baby.

  "He'll be in his study with Louise Robertson. I believe she's having her way in the house."

  Arrian closed the book and stood up. "I'll return shortly, Michael. I'm going to talk to Warrick now."

  Both Michael and Mrs. Haddington watched her leave, and the housekeeper clicked her tongue. "There'll be trouble with those two, and it saddens my ol' heart."

  Michael silently agreed with her but said nothing. He might lightly banter with servants but he was too well brought up to discuss personal matters that concerned his family.

  Arrian tapped lightly on the door and heard Warrick's voice bidding her to enter. She stared for a moment at the sight that met her eyes. Warrick and Louise Robertson sat at a small table spread with a bounty of food. She had not expected to find Warrick having an intimate dinner with that woman. She was so hurt that for a moment she could only stare at them.

  "Arrian, what an unexpected surprise," Warrick said, coming to his feet.

  She glanced at Louise Robertson, who was looking very attractive in a bright green low-cut gown that would have been more properly worn at a ball. The woman wore her brown hair loose, in a style suitable for a much younger woman, Arrian thought spitefully.

  "Excuse me," Arrian said loftily. "I see you are otherwise occupied, Warrick. I'll talk to you another time."

  He walked toward her, his face unreadable. "Louise and I were just going over plans for the second floor. We thought it would be pleasant—er, easier to discuss them over dinner."

  "You owe me no explanation, Warrick. Go on with whatever you were doing."

  She turned to leave, but he caught her arm. "You were just leaving, weren't you Louise?"

  "Of course, Warrick. I believe we've finished for the day. Any other decisions can wait until tomorrow." She rushed across the room and stopped before Arrian. "I believe you are going to like the changes in your bedroom." Louise smiled. "I'm decorating it just the way I'd like it if it were my room." Her innuendoes were not lost on Arrian, but went unnoticed by Warrick.

  Arrian stared at the brazen woman until she left.

  "You had no reason to be rude to Louise, Arrian. She is always kind when inquiring into your health and has worked tirelessly on your behalf."

  Arrian could not prevent the rush of jealousy that took possession of her. Was Warrick a fool that he didn't see Louise Robertson was devoted to him? Of course he knew, and probably encouraged her. It was very apparent that Louise was assuming the role of mistress of the house, and had already increased her authority.

  "I suppose you dine with her every night?" Arrian despised herself for sounding shrewish.

  "No, Arrian, this is the first time I have dined alone with Louise. I arrived home late and was told that you had already dined. Louise was still working in the salon and since she hadn't—"

  "Please spare me your excuses. I'm not interested in what you do with that woman. You are free to dine with her, or do whatever you please with her."

  "Arrian, I know what this looks like, but you're mistaken. I had not eaten since morning and she wanted me to see the plans for the second floor. I thought that combining the two would save time."

  Arrian shrugged and moved over to the table to toy with a silver dessert spoon. "Warrick, I've come because I need to talk to you."

  He pressed his hand into her back and guided her to a chair where he seated her. "You are well?"

  "I'm completely recovered."

  "Arrian, about that night you lost the child—"

  "I don't want to think about that night. It's over and I only wish to put it behind me."

  He sat in a chair and stared at her. "I need to ask you something that I have not had the courage to ask until now. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Was the child a son or daughter?"

  "It was too early to tell."

  He seemed to shrink visibly. "Since the moment we met I've always done the wrong thing with you. That night was no exception."

  "What happened was not your fault."

  "You are being kind."

  "Then I hope you will be equally kind, Warrick, for I have come to ask something of you—not that I need your permission, but I would like leave without incident."

  He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "I have been wondering how long it would take for you to get around to that."

  "I only delayed my decision until I felt well enough to make the long journey."

  "I don't suppose there's anything I can say to make you change your mind?"

  "I don't think so, Warrick."

  "You do blame me for the loss of our child."

  She stood and walked to the window. "It wasn't the loss of the baby, Warrick, that made me decide to leave. It was discovering how you felt about me and our child. You
will always remember what I am, Warrick, and not who I am."

  "I know I was cruel to you that night, although I don't remember everything I said."

  "It's of no importance."

  He had come up behind her and turned her to face him. "It's important to me."

  She moved away from him. "I thought Michael and I would leave on Monday next."

  His silver eyes dulled. "You don't have to leave."

  She turned to him. "A true gentleman could have said no less. We both know our marriage was for the wrong reasons. And because of that, innocent people were hurt, Warrick."

  "Arrian, I never meant to hurt you. I'd rather die."

  She turned to the door. "I'll be gone before you start on the second floor. Have Louise Robertson decorate the bedroom in colors that please her. She is better suited to you than I ever was, since she's neither a Maclvors nor English."

  Arrian left before Warrick could reply and climbed the stairs to her room. When she entered, she was shocked to find Louise Robertson going through her jewelry chest. Her anger exploded when she saw the Drummond wedding ring on her finger.

  "Take that off at once!" Arrian demanded.

  Louise slowly slid the ring off and dropped it on the dressing table. "No matter. I'll have it one day." Louise moved around Arrian, eyeing her up and down. "I was here long before you arrived, m'lady, and I'll be here long after you're gone. I'm told his lordship sleeps alone. When he belongs to me, he'll never be alone in bed."

  Arrian picked up the ring and clasped it so tightly in her hand that the diamond cut into her palm. "Get out of my room, it's not yours yet."

  Louise laughed. "I'll leave for now. But I'll be back."

  Arrian raised her head and said in her most imperious manner, "Do not come in this room as long as I reside here. I care not what you do after I'm gone."

  Arrian watched Louise pick up a fan her father had brought her from the Orient. Grabbing the fan from her, she pointed to the open door. "As I said—leave."

  Louise's taunting laughter followed her out of the room. Arrian glanced down at the ring, her eyes blazing with fury. That woman would never wear the ring— Arrian would take it with her!

  That night Arrian did not sleep well. She wondered if Warrick was with Louise and hated herself for caring.

  She awoke during the night with the awareness that someone was in her room. She did not need to open her eyes to know that Warrick stood watching her. After a moment, she heard him leave quietly.

  Michael found Warrick in the study, staring out the window. When he came up beside him, Michael discovered that Warrick was watching Arrian walking toward the beach.

  "Are you just going to do nothing while she goes out of your life?"

  Warrick looked down at Michael. "I have no right to expect her to stay with me."

  "You're her husband—I'd say that gives you a right."

  "I'm her husband by trickery."

  "You fathered a child by her."

  "I don't care to think about the child I lost."

  "Warrick, why in hell did you bring Louise Robertson here?"

  "I know now that it was wrong. Her husband was a friend of mine and she was in need of money. I thought to help her by allowing her to work at Iron-worth. I don't think Arrian and Louise have much in common."

  "Oh, I think they have something in common."

  "Haddy told me how Louise goaded Arrian. Again, I was at fault." There was sadness in Warrick's eyes. "Everything I do regarding your sister seems wrong. I don't know how to please her."

  "Arrian is not as complicated as you might think. She likes the same things other young ladies like—to be courted, to be told she's beautiful, to have a man tell her he loves her. You do love her, don't you?"

  Warrick stared at the young lad he had come to respect. It was hard for him to speak, but he had to know. "When do you leave?"

  "Early tomorrow morning."

  "I will want to talk to Arrian before you go."

  Michael shook his head. "I'll never be able to understand you where my sister is concerned. Why don't you go to her now?"

  Warrick walked quickly toward the beach. After tomorrow he would again find life the meaningless void it had been before she had entered his domain.

  Arrian was seated atop a huge rock that jutted out into the sea. Her legs were drawn up, and her head rested on her knees. She was unaware that she was being observed.

  "Do you want to come down, or shall I join you?" Warrick yelled to be heard above the roar of the sea.

  "I'll come down," she said, wondering if he'd just happened by or if he'd sought her company.

  He offered Arrian his hand and helped her down to the beach. "You like the sea, don't you, Arrian?"

  "It's timeless and everlasting, never changing unless a storm comes along. But when the storm passes, it again goes back to being calm and peaceful. The sea is beautiful here at Iron worth."

  A lock of golden hair blew across her face, and he resisted the urge to touch it. "You are like the calming sea, Arrian. I have never known a woman like you, and I don't know how to deal with you."

  She was caught by the magic of his silver eyes. "You are like a summer gale. You stormed through my life leaving only destruction."

  He flinched as if she had struck him. "Will you be glad to be quit of us, Arrian?"

  "I love it here, Warrick. And I'll miss Haddy, Mactavish, and Barra. I have come to respect them. I believe they also have a liking for me."

  His voice was deep. "There are many here who will miss you."

  "I'm sure Louise Robertson isn't one of them."

  He shifted uncomfortably under her accusing gaze. "I should never have brought her to Ironworth, I know that now. You might like to know she's gone and won't be returning."

  Arrian shrugged. "That's of no concern to me now."

  He gripped her shoulders. "Damn it, Arrian, she meant nothing to me. I don't even think of her as a woman."

  Their eyes locked. Her expression was cold, his was one of confusion. "I don't want to talk about her."

  "Perhaps not, but I wanted you to know." He turned to look up the incline. "Would you like to see the waterfall before you leave?" he said, wanting to prolong their last moments together.

  "Yes, I would."

  Warrick took her hand and led her up a footpath over moss-covered rocks and then down to the rushing Fee River. Arrian stared up at the waterfall that tumbled across craggy rocks.

  "The source of the water comes from the mountains, Arrian. Even if it hasn't rained, the river still runs full to its banks because of the rain in those mountains."

  She felt the soft spray on her face and closed her eyes. "It's not unlike the feeling one gets at sea."

  "It is said that one of my ancestors, who had been in a battle defending Queen Mary against those who would have seen her dethroned, was blinded from a blow on his head. Lost in the mountains in a snowstorm, he followed the river here to the waterfall and was rescued by Drummond clan members."

  "Poor luckless queen, to become the victim of treachery from her own people."

  Warrick glanced down at her, noting the beads of water that had peppered her face. "Aye, betrayed by her countrymen and beheaded by your queen."

  "I had heard that the Maclvors also supported Queen Mary."

  Warrick frowned. "Must we talk of your clansmen today?"

  "No. I suppose not."

  He watched a shimmering rainbow that arched behind her head. His gaze dropped to her lips, which were wet with mist from the waterfall. Without being aware of it, he gravitated toward her and felt a shock when his lips touched hers.

  Blissfully Arrian melted into him, her arms twining around his shoulders, her mouth eager for his kiss. How she had ached for his touch. If only—

  Suddenly he tore his lips away from hers and stepped back. "Come," he said, taking her hand. "It's time to leave. It's getting late."

  "Will you think of me, Warrick? Or when I'm gone, will it be as if I
never existed?"

  "I can worship the sun, even knowing I can never touch or possess it. I was able to hold you in my hand for a moment, but I always knew you could never belong to me. Will I forget you? I think not in one lifetime."

  She wanted to reach out to him, but he had withdrawn from her into that secret place where he always retreated. Already he walked ahead of her. Arrian wanted to call after him, to beg him to hold her one more time.

  "Warrick."

  He paused. "Yes?"

  "I . . . wish you well. I will often think of you standing here with the wind in your hair." There was a catch in her throat and she struggled to continue. "Or riding Titus over the moors."

  "Shall I think of you at a reception for the king, dancing with dozens of admiring gentlemen?"

  "No. I'm going home to Ravenworth and there I'll stay until I heal in mind and spirit."

  He took her hand and rested it against his chest. "Arrian, if only I could tell you of the regrets that are in my heart."

  "I know of some of them. You told me the night I lost the baby."

  He blinked and glanced up at a sea bird that was gliding on a gust of wind. "I want more than anything for you to be happy."

  "I wish the same for you."

  He stood back and looked at her for a long moment. "Allow me to hold you in my arms this last time?"

  She moved forward hesitantly, and he slid his arms around her. They had shared so much, and yet their hearts had never joined. They had begot and lost a baby, and yet they had never exchanged one word of love.

  Arrian rested her cheek against his rough coat, wishing she could stay with him forever. But they were star-crossed lovers, and it had not been meant for them to be together.

  Warrick's arms tightened around her, and he buried his face against her velvet hair.

  "When I am feeling particularly lonely, I'll remember this moment, Arrian. It's the first time you came to me willingly, even if it is only to tell me good-bye."

  31

  It was a cloudy day as the coach pulled away from Ironworth. Arrian sat beside her brother, refusing to look out the window and resisting the urge to glance back at the castle. She was going home to England, and she told herself she was glad to quit Scotland. Elspeth was seated across from them, already nodding off to sleep.