Rebel Temptress (Historical Romance) Page 14

  "I am not sure what my feelings are, Adam, and it is hard for me to believe a man such as yourself could care for me."

  "My God, what must I do to make you see that loving you is tearing me apart inside? I want to make love to you and drive all doubts away."

  She drew away from. "That would be no proof, Adam."

  He pulled her closer to him and rested her head on his uninjured shoulder. "Why could I not have met you before you were married, and under different circumstances? You have been so badly hurt that you cannot trust anyone, can you?"

  She did not bother to answer him.

  "Some day, Honor, I swear I will prove to you that I love you and that love can be beautiful."

  "No, I am Jordan's wife. I will always be his wife, and nothing can ever change that."

  His arms tightened around her. "Damn him for hurting you, and damn him for having what I crave most in the world."

  Honor sighed heavily and sat up. "I am tired, Adam. I will leave you now, but if you need me in the night, I am just next door."

  He watched her move across the room and then closed his eyes wearily. He would need her every day of his life, he thought.

  * * *

  The next morning Honor rose early and went quietly to her bedroom to check on Adam. When she saw the bed was empty, she panicked. His clothing was gone. The only evidence that he had been there were the rumpled covers and the pillow that still held the indentation where his head had lain. Then she saw a piece of paper lying on the bedside table. She picked it up with trembling hands and read:

  My Dearest,

  I could not remain any longer, fearing I would endanger you. Do not fear for me, I will be fine.

  I am leaving sufficient funds to cover the price of a horse since mine was lost to me.

  This is not good-bye. Never doubt that we shall meet again. Remember that I love you.

  Adam

  Honor sat down on the bed and buried her face in her hands and cried until she was exhausted. He had left without her telling him that she loved him. Last night she had decided that she wanted him to know of her love even if nothing could ever come of it.

  With tear-blinded eyes she read the post-script at the bottom of Adam's letter.

  P.S. Happy birthday darling.

  Honor clutched the letter in her hand, wondering how Adam had known yesterday was her birthday. She was sure she had never mentioned it to him. Her heart swelled with the love she felt for Adam. And she felt heartbreak that she might never see him again.

  10

  Honor stood beside Maggie Daniels and listened to the Reverend Smith recite the eulogy over Clayton Daniels's grave. She had cried her tears of grief for Jordan's father in private, knowing she must appear strong now for her mother-in-law's sake.

  Aaron's eyes were big and frightened as he clutched Honor's hand. He could not understand why his grandmother was crying so hard, or why his mother was so unhappy. He was three now. His blond hair curled in ringlets around his little face. His gray eyes, so like Jordan's, stared at the pine box that held his grandfather's body, but he did not understand about death.

  The reverend finished his eulogy and Honor slipped her arm around Maggie's frail shoulders and led her toward the house. Maggie clung to her tightly, as if afraid Honor would leave her.

  When they reached the house Honor left Aaron with Chauncey and took Maggie upstairs to her bedroom. Maggie held her hand tightly and wept hysterically. "Honor, do not leave me. I cannot bear to be alone."

  Honor urged her to lie down and sat beside her, holding her hand. "I will not leave you, Maggie."

  "You and Aaron will move to Green Rivers?"

  "Yes, we will move in with you. I do not want you to be alone."

  That seemed to soothe her mother-in-law, and she finally fell asleep. Honor pulled a light coverlet over Maggie, deciding to remain beside her in case she should awaken. Honor loved Maggie and knew she would need her and little Aaron after the shock of her husband’s death.

  She felt tears in her eyes for her father-in-law. It had been a terrible accident that had taken his life. His horse had been spooked in a thunderstorm and the buggy he had been riding in had turned over, pinning him beneath it. Honor knew she would miss him. Seeing that Maggie slept deeply, she went downstairs to talk to Chauncey about moving her belongings to Green Rivers.

  * * *

  Jordan stared out the fence of the Yankee prison compound. He had been a prisoner for over a year. The war had ceased to matter to him, pr so he thought, until the day he heard that it was over the South had been defeated. That day he had wept openly along with his fellow Confederate inmates.

  He was anxious to return to Green Rivers, but thus far he had refused to swear allegiance to the Union, and until he did so, they would not release him. Many of his fellow prisoners had already pledged their support to the Yankees, but he had stubbornly held out. He realized he would finally have to give in if he was ever to see Honor again. She was becoming an obsession with him, with her laughing green eyes and the freckles scattered over her cute little turned-up nose. She was his love and his wife.

  Major Adam O'Roarke rode into Richmond at the head of his troops. The war was over and it was a good feeling to know there would be no more fighting and no more killing.

  He was well aware of the hostile glances that were directed at him and his men from the local populace. It would have been much the same if the South had won the war and Confederate troops had ridden through the streets of Boston.

  Soon Adam would be free to return home, but before he could leave he must see Honor and beg her to go to Boston with him. He was a lawyer as well as an officer of the conquering army, and it would not be difficult for him to obtain a divorce for Honor.

  But she had not said she loved him. It did not matter, he had enough love for the both of them, and in time, when she lost her fear of men, she might grow to love him, for he knew his life would have no purpose without her beside him.

  * * *

  Meagan stood on the deck of the Sea Witch and watched as the dense fog cleared, revealing the shoreline of Virginia. She was going home, and it was not a bad feeling.

  She had enjoyed seeing Europe with Horace. They had traveled in style, staying in only the best hotels, and Horace had been very generous where she was concerned.

  He had become ill, and the last year of his life he had been confined to his bed, leaving Meagan free to do as she pleased. And she had done it all. She had been wined and dined by many handsome and wealthy gentlemen.

  And now Horace was dead, and she was going home to Virginia and Jordan.

  Her beautiful brow furrowed. Would Jordan still want her? She had been cruel to him. She found that she missed him more with each passing day. Now that she had plenty of money, she and Jordan could travel and see the world. Would he forgive her? She laughed. If he was still alive he would want her, of that she was sure.

  * * *

  The war had been over for six months now, and hard times had fallen on the Virginians. Many of Honor's friends and neighbors had been forced to sell their homes and move west, where they had dreams of a better life.

  Honor sat in the study at Green Rivers with the ledger in front of her. She had taken over the running of Green Rivers as well as Landau. She had tried every way she knew to save both plantations, but there was just no way. One of them would have to be sold to save the other one, and she knew that Landau Plantation must be sacrificed to save Green Rivers.

  Honor had found when she took over the running of Green Rivers after Jordan's father died that the plantation had fallen on hard times. Checking back in the logbooks, she had noticed that while Jordan had been running things the plantation had thrived, but when his father had taken over, things had gone from bad to worse. Part of it was, of course, the war, but it was also bad management. Green Rivers had already bled Landau Plantation dry trying to keep up with the heavy overhead and repairs.

  There was a knock on the door, and Honor
opened it to admit her overseer, Clyde. He had been discreetly trying to find a buyer for Landau for her, and she knew by the look on his face that he had been successful.

  "You found a buyer, Clyde?"

  He studied her for a moment before answering. He had worked for her aunt for many years, and when Honor had taken over after her aunt's death, he had come to admire her keen mind and business decisions.

  "I got a good price for it, Mrs. Daniels."

  "The buyer paid the asking price?"

  "Yes, ma'am. He did not even haggle over the price."

  Honor felt sick inside. It was her home, and soon it would be occupied by strangers.

  "Who bought Landau, Clyde?"

  "That's the funny part, Mrs. Daniels. The buyer wished to remain anonymous. From what I gather he is from the North. The lawyer who handled the transactions was from Boston."

  Honor sighed. Tomorrow would begin the task of disposing of the furnishings.

  "One other thing, Mrs. Daniels. The lawyer said his client wished to purchase all of the furnishings. He gave you a sizable sum for them." Clyde handed her a check.

  Honor's eyes widened in surprise. "Surely this cannot be right. This is too much money."

  "That is what I thought, too, but the lawyer assured me his client was satisfied with the price."

  Honor shrugged. "If he is satisfied, why should we quibble, Clyde."

  He smiled at her. "That's kinda what I thought, ma'am."

  "Clyde, I am hoping you will move to Green Rivers to be my foreman, just as you were at Landau."

  He looked uncomfortable for a moment. "Ma'am, I have been wanting to talk to you for some time. I kept putting it off because you needed me."

  "What is it, Clyde?"

  "I am going home to Tennessee now that the war is over."

  Honor frowned. "I would hate to see you leave, Clyde. I have come to depend on you heavily."

  "I hate leaving you, Mrs. Daniels. You have always dealt fairly with me. But my brother has a small farm outside Nashville. He lost his leg in the war and has asked me to help him run the place. I feel an obligation to him and his family. He has six motherless younguns since his wife died."

  Honor sat down. "I can see that you must go, Clyde, but I will miss you. Your brother will get a good man in you." She smiled. "With you running things for him, I will expect to hear that you own the whole state of Tennessee before long."

  He grinned broadly. "I will miss you, ma'am."

  "When do you leave, Clyde?"

  "It should take me a few days to move the rest of your belongings to Green Rivers. I will leave after that is completed."

  Honor knew she would miss Clyde, and doubted that she could easily replace him.

  "Is there anything you need, Clyde?"

  "No ma'am."

  "I want you to have the heavy wagon from Landau, and two strong horses of your choosing, Clyde."

  He looked at her in surprise. "Mrs. Daniels, I could never take so much from you. You have always been generous with me."

  "Just put it down as services rendered above and beyond the call of duty, Clyde. You have earned everything I have ever given you."

  He nodded his thanks, not knowing what to answer.

  That afternoon Chauncey drove Honor and Aaron over to Landau Plantation so she could look around for one last time before the new owners took possession.

  She walked through the rooms that were so familiar to her, then she took Aaron's hand and walked in the apple orchard.

  "Mother, why are you so sad?" Aaron asked, his little face so serious.

  Honor bent down and hugged him to her. "It is always sad, Aaron, when you must say good-bye to an old friend."

  "Is someone going away, Mother?"

  She kissed his cheek. "Someone is always going away, Aaron."

  "Do not worry, Mother. I will never leave you," he said seriously.

  She held him tightly, trying not to cry for his sake.

  She looked at the apple trees that were now in full bloom. She thought she could almost feel Adam's presence and hear his laughter and his deep voice.

  Hearing footsteps, Honor looked up and saw the blue uniform and drew in her breath as she recognized Adam.

  They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. Honor's heart was racing and she had the impulse to run to Adam and feel his strong arms around her.

  "Who are you?" Aaron asked, breaking the silence.

  "I am a very old friend of your mother's, Aaron," Adam said in a deep voice.

  "You do not look old to me," Aaron said.

  Adam laughed. "Sometimes I feel old, Aaron."

  "How do you know my name?"

  Adam looked at Honor. "I was present when you were born. Let me see, last October eight, you were three."

  "That is right," Aaron laughed. "What shall I call you?"

  Adam ruffled the boy's hair. "Since we are such old friends, you may call me Adam."

  "I like you. Are you really my friend?"

  "Indeed I am, Aaron."

  The boy smiled and turned to his mother. "May I go and swing on the porch swing, Mother?"

  "Yes, run along, but do not get dirty," she cautioned.

  When Aaron left there was a long silence. Finally Honor looked at Adam.

  "Why are you here?"

  "I told you I would be back, Honor. Are you not glad to see me?"

  "I am glad you are well, Adam."

  "Is that all, Honor?"

  "That is all there can ever be for you and me, Adam."

  He reached out his hand and touched her cheek. "I have missed you, Honor."

  "Please do not say any more," she said, trying not to be pleased by his admission. "I see you are still wearing your uniform," she said, turning the conversation. "When do you return to Boston?"

  "I am leaving soon, Honor. Come with me, I will spend my life making you happy."

  "Come with you as what, Adam? I am a married woman."

  "Marriages can be dissolved, Honor."

  She smiled sadly. "You know I cannot come with you, Adam."

  He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her his life would be nothing without her. Seeing he was about to speak, she placed her hand over his lips. "Do not say any more, Adam. I have Aaron to think about."

  He took her hand and kissed her fingers one at a time. "We have had so little, Honor. I cannot think it is over before it begins."

  Honor swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to cry. "It was never meant to be for us, Adam."

  "Darling," he whispered.

  "No, Adam, do not say any more, or I will leave."

  He looked over her head at the apple blossoms that swayed in the breeze, knowing it would do no good to press her.

  "I understand you no longer live at Landau."

  "That is right, Adam. I moved to Green Rivers when my father-in-law died. I sold Landau. I am here now saying good-bye."

  She looked toward the hillside where her Aunt Amanda was buried. "I hope the new owners will allow me to visit my aunt's grave."

  "Have you heard from your husband, Honor?"

  "No, there has been no word of Jordan."

  "And yet you wait for him?"

  "I have no choice, Adam." She looked into his eyes and saw the love shining in the blue depths. "You know this is good-bye, Adam."

  "No, dammit!" he said as he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. Then he drew her into his arms. "Honor, darling, why must it always be goodbye for us?"

  She laid her head on his shoulder, feeling as though she was dying inside. She loved him so much. She wished she dared go with him, but she must think of Aaron.

  "Say you will miss me, Honor."

  "I will miss you always, Adam."

  "Tell me that you love me," he whispered against her ear.

  "There are all kinds of love, Adam."

  "For God's sake, Honor, can you not say it? I asked you a question, and I demand an answer." His hands gripped her shoulders p
ainfully.

  "Do not ask it of me, Adam. You are always asking more than I can give."

  "Damn you, Honor. Are you so passive you cannot reach out for what I offer you? Will you stay with a man who has obviously mistreated you, knowing he loves your sister? Are you such a martyr that you would sacrifice your whole life?"

  "You have no right to speak to me this way, Adam. It is not your concern what I decide to do. I wish you would leave me in peace."

  His eyes flashed angrily. "I will go, Honor, but I will be back, never doubt it." He walked away from her and she stared after him, wishing she dared call him back. He had been right. She did feel like a martyr, sacrificing her life, but there were so many people who depended on her. And there was her son. She must think of his future.

  Good-bye, Adam, my love, she cried silently. God go with you.

  * * *

  A week later Honor received a letter from the attorney of the new owner of Landau.

  Mrs. Daniels,

  On behalf of my client, I wish to inform you that you must always feel free to visit and tend the graves sites at Landau. My client, knowing you have family buried there, wishes you to feel free to come and go as you will.

  Sincerely,

  Baker Davis

  Attorney at Law

  Honor was puzzled by the letter, knowing it was a very generous and kind offer. She wondered who the new owner could be.

  * * *

  Adam was preparing to leave for Boston the next day. He walked about the grounds of Landau Plantation. It was quiet now, deserted, waiting for the new owner. He walked to the front of the house just as a buggy pulled into the driveway. He saw the woman disembark in a flurry of rustling blue silk. Red curls peeped out from underneath a matching silk bonnet. Meagan, he thought, Honor's sister.

  Meagan was halfway up the steps before she spotted Adam, and turning to face him, she flashed him her prettiest smile.

  "Are we invaded by Yankees, sir?" she said in a throaty voice.

  He walked up the steps slowly, studying her beautiful face.

  "Major Adam O'Roarke, at your service, ma'am."

  She handed him her gloved hand and flashed him a smile that showed her perfect teeth. "I am Meagan Elderman, major," she told him, looking him up and down with a look that told him she liked what she saw.